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The current year marks a full decade since the word “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without a word seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the terms this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal traits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your choice to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately kill any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {